SPANAWAY, Wash. — A mother posted a heartbreaking photo on Facebook of her 4-year-old daughter on one last car ride home after picking up her ashes from a funeral parlor last week.
Sarah Walton’s daughter, Ellie, died in January from a rare brain tumor, ABC News reports.
On her way home, she took a photo of the urn and posted it on the Prayers for Ellie Walton Facebook page.
“Driving you home the other day, I was scared, but buckling you in felt normal. Even though none of this is normal, none of this is right. You should be here. Death is so selfish baby girl. My heart is broken,” she wrote in the post.
“I’m literally hurting and torn, I know you’re in a better place, and yet no place is better than in my arms. I know your happy and pain free, and yet I want you here.”
The post, which has helped Walton cope, has garnered more than 4,000 likes and 600 shares.
“She was the kind of kid who would have brain surgery on a Monday and by Tuesday she wanted to leave the hospital so she could get a Slurpee,” Walton told ABC News. “She lit up a room. She was very outgoing and spoke to every person.”
The full post reads:
You should be here.
We made you a custom urn, you would love it baby girl. Unfortunately temporary urns are just boxes, that wasn’t good enough for you, so I decorated it, until your perfect urn comes in.
Driving you home the other day, I was scared, but buckling you in felt normal. Even though None of this is normal, none of this is right. You should be here. Death is so selfish baby girl. My heart is broken. I’m Literally hurting and torn, I know your in a better place, and yet no place is better than in my arms. I know your happy and pain free, and yet I want you here. It’s been two months since I last kissed your cheek or played with your hair. It’s been two months of pure torture, agony, and despair. All I want back is our daily life, whatever they entailed, I want it back. I want hospital visits back, and chemo back, I want your laughter, and your joyous heart back. The things that brought my heart so much pain, only a few months ago, I so desperately want back today.
Life’s not fair baby girl, you know that better than anyone. I do know that your life brought me so much joy, and looking back, I’m thankful that I made sure to tell you every single day just how much I loved you. I will forever be grateful to have been your mommy.
Baby girl I don’t want you watching over me thinking that your passing only causes me pain. You see baby girl, I would gladly take this pain over and over again, if it meant that I got to be your momma. Cause had I never known you, I would have never known pure happiness, I would have never known to live every moment as your last, and I would have never known what true bravery, strength, and courage looked like. This will change baby girl, I will make it change. I never want another mom to feel this way, and I will fight for these other kids so that no other mom has to buckle in ashes of their babies. Because you have always been worth #morethan4