Reporter’s investigation embroils Frontier Airlines in animal voting scandal

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DENVER – Eagle-eyed Westword reporter Jonathan Shikes has uncovered a scandalous case of misrepresentation that threatens to snare Frontier Airlines’ effort to name a new animal mascot for the tails of some of its planes.

Shikes contends a ground squirrel may be masquerading as Chloe the Chipmunk.

Is Frontier Airlines secretly backing Chloe in a fraudulent effort to usurp the prestigious mascot position from her final two competitors, Polly the Parrot and Enrique the Tree Frog?

To paraphrase a famous author:

The stench of corruption lingers long after winter’s hibernation…

At least that’s my take, with tongue firmly planted in cheek (actually, I just made up that quote. Apologies.).

As Alvin and his crew proved long ago, chipmunks are much more marketable than squirrels.

Would “Alvin and the Squirrels” land a movie sequel? I think not. Cartoon series? Not a chance. Kids’ flatware? Nope.

A source with knowledge of the situation says while “chipmunks are cuter, squirrels have a better work ethic.”

Tell your voting public your squirrel is a chipmunk and you have the best of both worlds.

Well played, Frontier. Well played.

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I think Shikes is onto something.

The details are in the stripes, which you can read about in Shikes’ article.

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