EL PASO COUNTY, Colo. (KDVR) — Two days after his ex-wife was convicted of murdering his son, Gannon Stauch, Al Stauch sat one on one with FOX31. 

“You can show emotion, you can show feeling, but you can move forward,” Stauch said.

Stauch invited FOX31 into his home Wednesday, sharing messages of hope after three years of agony.

During the trial, hours of FBI-recorded phone calls between him and his former wife — now his son’s convicted killer — played in the courtroom.

“I had to put myself in the mind of a killer, which was her mind, to try to get anything I could out of her,” Stauch said. “It was — it was brutal. I would say some of those days were six, eight hours long, and we didn’t even hear half of the phone calls. There was so many more that I had to endure through, but I knew that that was my way of helping to find my son.”

Stauch said the final word from Judge Gregory Werner during sentences really hit him hard.

“You don’t want to walk around saying this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to any child, but then you hear that from someone, a judge who has seen, you would think, the worst of the worst,” Stauch said. “It ripped a hole deep inside, you know, just to know that, you know, that it happened to him, him being Gannon, and that’s hard.”

FOX31 was also the first to sit down with Gannon’s mom, Landen Bullard, on the night of the verdict. Read that story here, and watch the full interview here.

‘I’m not going to allow her to take control over me’

Stauch reflected on marrying the woman who is now convicted of his son’s murder.

“She was very intelligent, a beautiful woman, fell in love. But she also had this background of education and certifications, college, job history of work with children across the board of many different areas,” Stauch said. “So when it relates to that trust, what more certified or educated person could I find as it relates to the care and well-being of my children? That makes it all the more gut-wrenching of what — how it got to that point. You know, it just doesn’t make any sense.”

Stauch said if his ex-wife could answer one question truthfully, he would like to know what his son’s last words were.

“You know, that’s a hard thing to sit here and play, and replay, what I see and how I see it playing out,” he said. “But I assure you, I’m not losing sleep over not getting answers from her. That’s not something I’m going to allow her to take control over me.”

Stauch finds peace in the final moments he had with his son, holding on to that memory, and he hopes to move forward with his family.

“It was always, you know, a hug. I love you. I’m in your heart, and you’re in mine. That was our little saying, and that was the last embrace I had with him,” Stauch said. “I can sleep peacefully at night knowing that. And I think that’s what I want the world to know — cherish those moments and don’t miss an opportunity to share that love.”