WASHINGTON — One woman’s blind date turned out to be worse than you’d imagine — and her series of tweets about the night are almost too good to be true.
Lisette Pylant tweeted about the date in Washington on Monday.
“We meet up at a bar my friend works at. Said friend proceeds to text me telling me this guy sucks and I should run,” Pylant tweeted.
“I show up and he sucks but I figure I’ll stay because my friends are working at the bar.
“So 45 mins in his next date shows up because he double books himslef and he decides he’s going to friendzone me to get out of the situation,” Pylant wrote. “I decide to play the friend in order to help the girl feel less awkward until he exits for a moment and then I tell her what’s up.
“We’ll call this girl katie — katie gets in on my quest to make this guy feel like the ******* he clearly is and we chat for 30 mins.
“Then the third girl shows up — we’ll call her Riley. The guy leaves again and Riley, katie, and I team up and decide to JT Must Die this sit (sic).
“The two girls and I have now gotten both bartenders and the bouncer in on this and are taking this guy for all he’s worth over here.
“He’s now explaining why he broke up with his ex and Riley asked if he also met her on a ‘group date’ 😂
“Don’t worry — we already asked if there’s going to be a rose ceremony.
“The two girls and I decided to be best friends, left together to go get drinks and dinner at another bar and left homeboy with the bill 👌”
Pylant thought that was the end of the date-night drama, but it turns out the had other plans.
“JK ITS NOT OVER!” Pylant tweeted. “The bartender just texted us to tell us homeboy is on another date so I sent my friend over to retrieve his 8pm date.”
You might think the story finally ends here, but nope.
“You guys girl number FIVE just showed up BEFORE going to meet him because my friends intercepted her and told her not to waste her time,” Pylant tweeted.
The five ladies teamed up to make sure the tightly scheduled suitor wouldn’t have any luck in love that night.
“A’LL (well call her allie) Allie hasn’t actually met him yet & is now baiting him that she’s still on her way but we’ve already stolen her,” Pylant wrote.
“We’ve gotten girl #4 (we’ll call her claire) to come over once she finishes her date so she can debrief with us. Can someone bring a 🌹?”
The play-by-play of the disastrous date caught the attention of Buzzfeed and Pylant assured them the twisted tale was entirely true.
Comedian Questlove Gomez couldn’t help but laugh.
On top of that, the thread got the stamp of approval from the author of “John Tucker Must Die.”