Holden: ‘True baseball fan’ threatens Rockies boycott, actual fan laughs

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A pair of "Colorado Rockies Boycott" enthusiasts protest at Coors Field at a 2012 game. (Photo: Facebook / Colorado Rockies Boycott)

A pair of "Colorado Rockies Boycott" enthusiasts protest at Coors Field at a 2012 game. (Photo: Facebook / Colorado Rockies Boycott)

DENVER — If you’re a “true baseball fan,” you won’t go to the Colorado Rockies game today. Your digestive track will never be subjected to a Rockie Dog this season. You’ll drown out that singing vendor in the upper deck by blasting Twisted Sister.

“We’re not gonna take it! Boycott the Colorado Rockies!”

There’s a Facebook group with that exact title. One of the most popular Rockies blogs suggested walking out on the home team shortly after general manager Dan O’Dowd mandated a four-man rotation and a pitch count last season. Denver Post columnist Woody Paige urged fans to wear black on “Purple Monday” after Rockies CEO Dick Monfort called O’Dowd one of the best general managers in baseball.

In theory, the idea of a boycott after the worst season in the team’s 19-year history is noble and selfless.

In reality, it’s stupid.

Why? Because “true baseball fan” bemoans the idea of paying customers continuing to show up to support a terrible Rockies team as much as he bemoans the hypothetical idea of more paying customers showing up to support the Rockies if and when they’re no longer terrible.

Yes, it appears “true baseball fan” hates “loyal fan” as much as he hates “fair weather fan.”

He hates that the team hired a manager whose resume lists Regis High School at the top. He hates Troy Tulowitzki for getting injured last year. He hates Todd Helton for not succumbing to his injuries this year. He hates that the team’s No. 1 starter for being too old. He hates that the team’s No. 5 starter for being too young.

In short: Haters gonna hate, “true baseball fan.”

That suggestion won’t please “true baseball fan,” and he’ll likely rebut by saying he just wants the Rockies to make an effort to contend for a championship. In reality, “true baseball fan” will probably be holed up today a la Rob Gordon in Championship Vinyl.

Like the classic “High Fidelity” character, who forgot how to love music despite owning a record shop, “true baseball fan” appears to have become jaded after having had a team to call his own for 20 years now.

It would do “true baseball fan” some good to get off of social media and socialize with one of the fans who does show up for the 20th consecutive opening day sellout at Coors Field this Friday.

In the process, maybe “true baseball fan” will realize he lives in a great baseball town. And maybe in the process, he’ll actually get a look at the team the Rockies are fielding this year.

After that, “true baseball fan” ought to go read this preseason preview of the 2007 Rockies (lest he’s forgotten, that’s the team that won the franchise’s only National League Pennant).

Maybe then he’ll find the Rockies’ opening day batting order in 2013 appears as talented as the group the team started with in 2007. Maybe he’ll realize the bullpen is just as solid. Maybe he’ll be reminded the pitching rotation in 2007 initially made analysts just as leery as this 2013 group does.

And maybe then “true baseball fan” will be reminded of the true beauty of baseball: A whole lot can happen over a 162-game season.

At that point, maybe he’ll shut up for a few days and enjoy some baseball with the rest of us.