10 reasons why you love Peyton Manning and hate Tom Brady

Manning and Brady for featured

Sure, we love Peyton Manning, right, and hate Tom Brady. But why? (CNN)

Sure, we love Peyton Manning, right, and hate Tom Brady. But why? (CNN)

DENVER — Let’s face it.

It doesn’t matter that Manning has beaten down the Denver Broncos far more consistently throughout his career (he’s got a 6-2 record) than Tom Brady (he’s 3-5).

We love the former. We hate the latter.

Let’s be clear: This wasn’t a decision we made before our team gave us 96 million reasons to love the man with the bionic neck.

And having this opinion does nothing but include us in a vast majority.

When the nation sits down to watch the Broncos take on the New England Patriots this Sunday, everyone who wouldn’t describe Leonardo DiCaprio’s performance in the “Departed” as “wicked good” will be rooting for the Broncos along with us.

At face value, that doesn’t make a ton of sense. 

Perhaps never in the history of sport has the touted player who lived up to expectations (i.e. Manning, a No. 1 overall draft pick) so absolutely trumped an underdog who made good (i.e. Brady, a sixth-round draft pick) in the poll of public opinion.

So how did it come to this? It seems to have everything to do with the emotions each player elicits.

Brady’s meteoric rise from career backup to NFL MVP, Sexiest Man Alive and marrier-of-a-super-model hasn’t seemed to have come without making us all green with envy. Meanwhile, we can hardly watch Manning’s head bob more than three times on each drop back since he was taken with the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL draft without snickering.

As if that weren’t enough, it’s official: Manning is No. 2 on the list of “Goofy-Looking Guys Who’ve Made It.” Brady, meanwhile, makes ironing a shirt look cool.

Want nine more reasons we love Manning and hate Brady? Eat your heart out:

Manning yells things like “cut that meat!” Most women see Brady as a piece of meat.

Most women – except for this one and her dog – don’t know Manning exists. Brady was in your wife’s last edition of “Vanity Fair.”

Manning wears fake mustaches. Brady can grow a real one.

You need lipreaders to catch Peyton Manning swearing on a football field. All you need is CBS to catch Brady dropping bombs (and we’re not talking about 30-yard passes).

Manning’s wife just helped bring hope to a city full of downtrodden NBA fans. Brady’s wife has informed the Patriots’ receiving corps that her husband “cannot (expletive) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”

You can often find Manning making this face. You can often find Brady making this face.

Manning has had a “clean part, high-and-tight, no sideburns, no mistakes” haircut since birth. Brady once had a ponytail and has been shown in a side-by-side with Justin Bieber.

Manning thumbed his nose at a life-threatening neck injury. The NFL changed its rules after Brady got a bum knee.

In a family full of hall-of-famers, Manning is statistically superior. Manning’s younger brother made Brady cry.

That ought to do it. Or does it?

Don’t think this list is long enough?

Then click right here and help us expand it by telling us why you love Peyton Manning and hate Tom Brady on Facebook. Keep it clean and witty, folks!


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